Saudade means “the love that remains” after someone is gone. It’s the recollection of feelings, experiences, places or events that once brought excitement, pleasure, wellbeing, which now triggers the senses and makes one live again. It describes a deep nostalgic longing.
But it goes deeper – implicit in the emotion is the fact it often carries a repressed knowledge that the object of longing will never return. It can be described as an emptiness, like someone (your children, parents, sibling, grandparents, friends, pets) or something (places, things you used to do in childhood) that should be there in a particular moment is missing, and the individual feels this absence. It can also describe a love for something that you know will never exist.
Saudade: It brings sad and happy feelings all at once; sadness from missing something loved and happiness for having experienced the love.
passage credit: SarahWilson.com
It's been 2 years to the day that I lost my first grandmother. 6 months later,again to the day, April 7th, I lost my second grandmother. Two women who influenced my entire childhood and to be frank, had a huge part in who I am today. So many things reminds me of both of them on a daily basis and not an hour goes by that I don't think about one or both of them. Many regrets swirl through my head constantly- I should've called more, I should've done more than I did, etc.- the normal intrusive thoughts of grief. It's been a long time since I cried and let my feelings come through. I've blocked them for over a year, trying to hide, trying to ignore them just so I couldn't feel the pain. Today I finally let the pain flow through again and it's as cleansing as it is agonizing. I miss you two, so incredibly much. Thank you for all you've done to help inspire and shape my life. - 3 months ago