devinpg

Devin Greene

Comedian, Videographer, Writer, Friend. From Baltimore to Los Angeles. DM if you're interested in booking/collaborating.

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Call 1-800-Quik-Mov! We help you move out of your house in less than an hour flat!

Call 1-800-Quik-Mov! We help you move out of your house in less than an hour flat! - 3 days ago

106 Likes
2 Comments
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It’s the little jokes that really make life worth living.

It’s the little jokes that really make life worth living. - 9 days ago

129 Likes
7 Comments
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What do you do to clear your head?

What do you do to clear your head? - 23 days ago

126 Likes
11 Comments
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Trying to go Super Saiyan this year if possible.

Trying to go Super Saiyan this year if possible. - 25 days ago

177 Likes
3 Comments
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You never forget where you were when you first met Seal.

You never forget where you were when you first met Seal. - 27 days ago

77 Likes
6 Comments
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People keep telling me I look like Cillian Murphy. I don’t see it.

People keep telling me I look like Cillian Murphy. I don’t see it. - 30 days ago

256 Likes
11 Comments
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I got to ask Iliza Shlesinger about her new comedy special, coming soon!

I got to ask Iliza Shlesinger about her new comedy special, coming soon! - 1 month ago

95 Likes
5 Comments
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Slug Life 🕶

Slug Life 🕶 - 1 month ago

86 Likes
3 Comments
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How often do you ask yourself what you really LOVE? To quote Alan Watts, "What would you do if money were no object?" Finding your guiding desire is the secret to reducing the money you spend on hollow pleasures, so you can build your life around the things you actually enjoy.

How often do you ask yourself what you really LOVE? To quote Alan Watts, "What would you do if money were no object?" Finding your guiding desire is the secret to reducing the money you spend on hollow pleasures, so you can build your life around the things you actually enjoy. - 1 month ago

83 Likes
12 Comments
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I think it’s safe to say I have an oral fixation.

I think it’s safe to say I have an oral fixation. - 1 month ago

108 Likes
4 Comments
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A new iPhone X costs a week of work time, if you’re making $25 an hour. Tack on another week of time to pay for your rent or mortgage, another one for your car payments and related costs, and you don't have much time left to enjoy the things you spent your time buying. So spending less, in a way, is like earning more money, and more importantly, MORE TIME.

A new iPhone X costs a week of work time, if you’re making $25 an hour. Tack on another week of time to pay for your rent or mortgage, another one for your car payments and related costs, and you don't have much time left to enjoy the things you spent your time buying. So spending less, in a way, is like earning more money, and more importantly, MORE TIME. - 1 month ago

66 Likes
2 Comments
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It’s Friday! Time to hit up that weirdo who keeps sliding in your DMs! 
These are my Top 6 favorite DMs of the year. Can you tell which one is mine? If you have any hilarious DMs, please DM them to me, and you’ll be featured in Part 2. The DM is an art, and a way of life, may we all be so blessed to receive one.

It’s Friday! Time to hit up that weirdo who keeps sliding in your DMs! These are my Top 6 favorite DMs of the year. Can you tell which one is mine? If you have any hilarious DMs, please DM them to me, and you’ll be featured in Part 2. The DM is an art, and a way of life, may we all be so blessed to receive one. - 1 month ago

145 Likes
10 Comments
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I need to join this Wall of Legends or die trying. So far it’s mostly been the die trying part.

I need to join this Wall of Legends or die trying. So far it’s mostly been the die trying part. - 1 month ago

102 Likes
4 Comments
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-Leave at the drop of a cat
-Can't judge a book by its contents
-If it ain’t broke, don’t Christmas 
AM I GETTING ALL OF THESE SAYINGS WRONG???

-Leave at the drop of a cat -Can't judge a book by its contents -If it ain’t broke, don’t Christmas AM I GETTING ALL OF THESE SAYINGS WRONG??? - 1 month ago

61 Likes
2 Comments
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I feel like it landed on me!! Time to get that butt suck!

I feel like it landed on me!! Time to get that butt suck! - 2 months ago

48 Likes
1 Comments
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“I hate to have to tell you this Lydia, but birds have wings. Your parrot won’t be coming home.”

“I hate to have to tell you this Lydia, but birds have wings. Your parrot won’t be coming home.” - 2 months ago

127 Likes
8 Comments
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Confession: I like really bad alternative rock. I’m straight out of a Hot Topic, but only because it gives me energy. I listen to all this power chord angst or really relentless rap, and then reggae when I need to lower my blood pressure. I just hate nuance and balance. I want music to rip my dick off like an angry chimpanzee grandmother.

I'm aware that yelling inside of this sound booth is corny on a deep, metaphysical level. "What are you yelling about?" you might ask. “Depression and stuff,” they would answer, before disappearing into their sleeves. I just don’t care about how bad the lyrics are, or how first world the problems are, because of the feeling the music delivers. It helps me sublimate anger and resentment and envy and fear into constructive energy. If you have absolutely no shame, it feels great. Take these young bucks for instance, they're interesting, sort of like a cuter Linkin Park. I like the lead singer's gimmicks. He wiggles his neck to make fun sounds and then roars like a hipster-sized bear. Is this captivating to anyone else, or do I have the taste of a stroke survivor?

Confession: I like really bad alternative rock. I’m straight out of a Hot Topic, but only because it gives me energy. I listen to all this power chord angst or really relentless rap, and then reggae when I need to lower my blood pressure. I just hate nuance and balance. I want music to rip my dick off like an angry chimpanzee grandmother. I'm aware that yelling inside of this sound booth is corny on a deep, metaphysical level. "What are you yelling about?" you might ask. “Depression and stuff,” they would answer, before disappearing into their sleeves. I just don’t care about how bad the lyrics are, or how first world the problems are, because of the feeling the music delivers. It helps me sublimate anger and resentment and envy and fear into constructive energy. If you have absolutely no shame, it feels great. Take these young bucks for instance, they're interesting, sort of like a cuter Linkin Park. I like the lead singer's gimmicks. He wiggles his neck to make fun sounds and then roars like a hipster-sized bear. Is this captivating to anyone else, or do I have the taste of a stroke survivor? - 2 months ago

61 Likes
13 Comments
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The ghost of Christmas Future visited me in a dream...

The ghost of Christmas Future visited me in a dream... - 2 months ago

65 Likes
2 Comments
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