Week of Worthlessness Review 3:
- The Happening...happened. Shyamalan had something to prove. After the atrocity that was 'Lady in the Water', he needed to create another 'The Sixth Sense' before losing faith from the film community. How did he tackle this? Well, with this film. The Happening. A "psychological horror thriller" about an inexplicable disaster that is controlling people to commit mass suicide. Instantly we are greeted with death as innocent civilians stab themselves and walk off towering buildings. Chaos seemingly ensued. This was it. Shyamalan was back with a vengeance! "I can write more than two good films!" he exclaimed to all the haters. However, minutes later after the promising start, Wahlberg started talking. "Apparently, honeybees are disappearing all over the country!". And from that moment on, Shyamalan regressed to his cocoon of inadequacy. But wait! It's not just the preachy environmentalism that comfortably nested amidst the non-existent thrills. "Hot dogs get a bad rap. They got a cool shape, they got protein". Or perhaps "what kind of terrorists are these?" as a man gets mauled by lions. Or even the infamous "whattt!? Noooo!" line delivered by an unfathomably awful Wahlberg. How about Deschanel's death stares as she looks glumly confused? Wahlberg talking to a plastic plant? No no wait, "see, I'm a teacher!". "Why are you giving me one useless piece of information at a time?". "Why are you eyeing my lemon drink?". Honeybees, science, plants, hot dogs, firearms, lemon drinks...I can't take it. I've lost my sanity. This is so unintentionally hilarious that it outshines the majority of comedies, films designed to make you laugh. The extras are better actors than the lead stars. There are no thrills, aside from the tiniest slither of mystery. And, to top it all, it concludes with an explanation outlining how inexplicable the event was. It started, and ended, abruptly with minimal reasoning. Every bone in my body is telling me that this is one of the worst films I've ever watched. Yet, oddly, I found some enjoyment within its own nefariousness that is preventing me from granting the worst rating. Shyamalan surrealism.
Happening = 2/10 - 5 hours ago