I constantly feel like I'm always minutes away from dying suddenly. I always get the thought that I will die young. And I wonder if it would be random..or will my mental illness gets so bad that the inevitable will happen. I expressed to my therapist that I'm worried that suicide is the end all be all for depression, like something that we have no control over and our mind would make us do it it gets bad enough. I'm always worried about feeling or seeing something weird in my body, thinking of the worst outcome. Like the main thing I'm freaking out about now is a mole on my hand that I think could be skin cancer. Ugh, what the fuck The amount of fear I feel in my chest..which then causes my whole body to tense up and give me shortness of breathe. And I internalize most of it so it doesn't make others uncomfortable. Its aggravating. It's detrimental. I'm just tired guys. I know I say it a lot but it's a daily reality. Shit...
#story#soml#depression#anxiety#ocd#battle#fight#staystrong#love#pain#me#vulnerability#mystory#life#strength#selfie#follow#like#inspiration#project#mentalhealth#mentalillness#hope#panic#fear#cage - 5 hours ago
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