However there are many layers to all this insanity:
All my life, I have tried to put the good of others ahead of myself; prioritizing the people I care about ahead of my own desires, leaving me more often-than-not drained and precariously vulnerable.
One of my greatest fears is being rejected for who I am and having the person exit the relationship - part of my own being. I know that for as long as I can remember (while being in treatment), that we’re told that there is no such thing as perfect. And I’ll admit that I have held onto a quote once heard on a podcast that I remind myself of every day: “progress not perfection.” It doesn’t matter if I’m not meeting the societal criteria for ‘acceptable;’ what does matter is that I wholeheartedly show up for myself and for the present moment. Because I, alone, am in control of me - my thoughts, opinions, actions, my life. I cannot predict or assume or control how others may perceive me and that’s okay. It’s okay. And it is okay, because as long as I’m showing up for me and meeting my needs and I am sharing and being a part of the experience that is my authentic self, then I’ve served the day well. I don’t need to prove myself to others by moving a mountain as long as I’m embracing my own light for the grace of its receiver, I have nothing to prove when I embody truth and light.
It is OK.
And I am OK. #truth #selflove #compassion #tryandtryagain #mentalhealth #anxiety #depression #journey #journaling - 5 minutes ago