“Behind my pretty smiles,
I’ve sunk and ran a million miles,
On spiked burning rocks,
Laying on the bottom of black oceans.
Behind my loud laughs and sparkling eyes,
I split into versions of truths and lies,
I’m kind and I’m good,
And it’s no disguise,
But once I’m chocked and hurt,
Pushed over the edge.
My cigarettes burn differently,
To smoke meant to ache as they’re burnt,
before turning to ashes of misery.
My others interrupt me interchangeably,
And I’m calmed by my lack of empathy,
My thirst for pain befriends me
and just let’s me be,
As I inhale deeply
and exhale in the lightest kneel.
The smoke overtakes and fills me,
and I can no longer feel guilt nor fear.
I’m kissed by my inner darkness
and made love to fiercely.
I smilingly hiss as I feel heartless,
And as my rawnesses pierce me.
I am what I am. Pin her.
Her, her, him, her. Me.
There’s nothing I need to TRY to do or be,
I’m an angel, a demon, goodness, and a sinner.
A downer, an upper, a quitter, and a winner.
Lines will be easily walked over and crossed,
And all shall pass through time and me,
Till I heal my naive self that’s aching and lost,
And she’ll return stronger and with more clarity.
I wish I could continuously break,
So I can take
each and every chance
To embrace all of me
In pain and in peace.” - Ma. B. - 6 hours ago