An old friend once gave me a tulips bouquet full of darkness. It took me years to understand that it was also a gift.
I would think for hours how strange it was that some people turned out to be completely different from who we thought they were. Did they just wake up one day and decide to hurt people who love them, or did it just happen that way sometimes?
And the thing is, I hate everything about forgiving them and I probably won’t. Forgiveness to me is the ultimate betrayal of myself and I refuse to let them think that it’s okay to treat other people the way they did.
There are times when I hated life. When I regretted everything they took from me, everything I gave them and the waste of all the time I’d spent on us. I chose to stay angry for a long long time because I thought it’s useful. I convinced myself that the angrier I was, the tougher I became and nobody would dare to hurt me again. But holly hell, holding on to anger was tiring and wasn’t fixing anything or making me feel better. It was toxic, even for me. So somewhere along the way, I’ve finally learned to ignore the the scars and not let what happened define me anymore. And here I am today appreciating the beauty of the tulips field as if there were never bad memories.. Cheers! - 16 hours ago