Regrann from @thesacredandthesexy
I didn't grow up learning about sexual autonomy, about speaking my sexual needs or desires, or how to understand my own boundaries and say "No" (or "YES!") with confidence.
In fact, I didn't really grow up talking about sex, at all.
But what I did learn about sex was in the context of religion and purity culture, and that we just shouldn't do it. Because doing it is bad. And leads to bad things.
And basically, what I understood from that was that if I had sex god would hate me and I'd be slut-shamed and my life would be ruined.
So when I did have sex at age 15, I didn't know what to do. I didn't know how to have sexual autonomy outside of the man I was engaging with. I didn't know how to ask for pleasure. Hell, I didn't even know how to say that things hurt (which they did, quite badly). All I knew was to shut up. To feel ashamed for engaging in sex. To not tell anyone. To ask for "forgiveness." To go along with the sexual nature of the relationship, because... well... I asked for it, didn't I? By being the sexually curious, wildly sensual and orgasmic masturbating teenager that I was.
I write about all this and more in my book "Sacred, Sexy & Whole: Undressing Purity Culture, Redressing Redemption" (free in my profile, for now). I also chatted with @girlskillofficial podcast about this, which released this week. Please take a listen! I put the link in my profile.
My main mission in life is to serve all those who, like me, grew up not understanding their autonomy, needs and boundaries, and because of that now have unfulfilling sex lives. Whether that's feeling blocked and asexual, or its being sexually promiscuous and not valuing one's self, or it's just dealing with the repercussions of trauma and ancestral sexual damage in the lineage.
Why is this my mission?
Because we ALL deserve to live healthy, sexual lives full of PLEASURE, creativity, orgasmic expansion, deep sensation and so much fun. Our sexuality is sacred. Our sexiness is sacred. The love we offer this world and others is .
#girlskill #purityculture #womenempoweringwomen #womensempowerment #speaktruth #sexualhealing #sexualtrauma #traumahealing - 23 hours ago