the.gentleman.wolf

Joel Clemons

Relationship & life coach, phone sessions available. Writer, Interpreter of thoughts & emotions (INFJ) In a loving relationship w/ @snowwolfunleashed

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"We are all so much together, but we are all dying of loneliness." -Albert Schweitzer
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Be honest with yourself, are you really running towards what you want or are you running away from it, is it fear or love that pushes you through the door? We may think that we are running towards love when we are actually running away from it because we are too afraid to open our heart and expose our deepest feelings and desires.
We have to understand that fear creates separation and fear of pain creates anxiety and the need to run and hide. So what have you been doing? Are you isolating yourself or quieting your voice in order to protect yourself? We have this tremendous need to connect but stop ourselves out of fear of rejection, fear of abandonment and fear of loss.  You have a love inside of you that is like no other's, it is a gift that someone has waited their whole life to experience. As Nietzsche said "Without music, life would be a mistake." Don't make the mistake of keeping your song to yourself. -Joel Clemons • Relationship Coach @the.gentleman.wolf

"We are all so much together, but we are all dying of loneliness." -Albert Schweitzer • Be honest with yourself, are you really running towards what you want or are you running away from it, is it fear or love that pushes you through the door? We may think that we are running towards love when we are actually running away from it because we are too afraid to open our heart and expose our deepest feelings and desires. We have to understand that fear creates separation and fear of pain creates anxiety and the need to run and hide. So what have you been doing? Are you isolating yourself or quieting your voice in order to protect yourself? We have this tremendous need to connect but stop ourselves out of fear of rejection, fear of abandonment and fear of loss. You have a love inside of you that is like no other's, it is a gift that someone has waited their whole life to experience. As Nietzsche said "Without music, life would be a mistake." Don't make the mistake of keeping your song to yourself. -Joel Clemons • Relationship Coach @the.gentleman.wolf - 1 day ago

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To be in a relationship with someone who doesn't trust you, doesn't really know you, criticizes you and doesn't give you the opportunity to show them what is in your heart is not only very hurtful, but will also make you feel very alone. Are we trying to love someone like that or could we be the one doing that to our partner, shutting them out emotionally in an effort to protect ourselves from getting hurt? Could we actually be punishing them for what someone else has done to us? Trust takes time to build but are we doing everything that we can to heal the wounds that prevent us from trusting others, and even more importantly, from trusting our self? Do we find that we get triggered often and have a hard time letting go of how we feel? Are we overreacting and then taking our partner emotionally hostage by making them responsible for our reaction? Are we sabotaging the relationship that we really want because we're afraid that somehow we will ruin it or they will just leave us anyway? These may be difficult questions to ask our self but they are important for our self growth and healing. We have to be aware of what is holding us back from having a healthy and satisfying relationship. We have to take back our power from the ones who have hurt us so that we can change our experience from that of fear to being fully present and emotionally available. You have so much love and laughter to look forward to, isn't it time that you embraced the life that you want instead of the pain and loss that you've known? Isn't it time that you forgive yourself for what you didn't know and learn how to love without holding on to the  pain of your past? 
We will only hurt others if we are still hurting and punishing ourselves. We stop judging and pushing others away when we learn to love and forgive ourselves. Only then will we be able to stop letting our past dictate our future and love people for who they really are. -Joel Clemons • Relationship Coach @the.gentleman.wolf
#love #relationships
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Photo credit: @kat_in_nyc

To be in a relationship with someone who doesn't trust you, doesn't really know you, criticizes you and doesn't give you the opportunity to show them what is in your heart is not only very hurtful, but will also make you feel very alone. Are we trying to love someone like that or could we be the one doing that to our partner, shutting them out emotionally in an effort to protect ourselves from getting hurt? Could we actually be punishing them for what someone else has done to us? Trust takes time to build but are we doing everything that we can to heal the wounds that prevent us from trusting others, and even more importantly, from trusting our self? Do we find that we get triggered often and have a hard time letting go of how we feel? Are we overreacting and then taking our partner emotionally hostage by making them responsible for our reaction? Are we sabotaging the relationship that we really want because we're afraid that somehow we will ruin it or they will just leave us anyway? These may be difficult questions to ask our self but they are important for our self growth and healing. We have to be aware of what is holding us back from having a healthy and satisfying relationship. We have to take back our power from the ones who have hurt us so that we can change our experience from that of fear to being fully present and emotionally available. You have so much love and laughter to look forward to, isn't it time that you embraced the life that you want instead of the pain and loss that you've known? Isn't it time that you forgive yourself for what you didn't know and learn how to love without holding on to the pain of your past? We will only hurt others if we are still hurting and punishing ourselves. We stop judging and pushing others away when we learn to love and forgive ourselves. Only then will we be able to stop letting our past dictate our future and love people for who they really are. -Joel Clemons • Relationship Coach @the.gentleman.wolf #love #relationships • Photo credit: @kat_in_nyc - 2 days ago

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One of the greatest gifts that you can ever give someone is showing them the beauty of who they are and helping them to find their love for themselves that others have tried to take away. Are you trying to love someone who feels broken or unlovable? Letting someone in and being vulnerable after being hurt again and again is one of the most difficult struggles for anyone. Feeling broken hurts but it isn't the end, a person can heal and become more than they ever thought that they could be. In fact, It can actually be the beginning of something better, just like a seed that has broken open so that it can grow, so can a person. Like gentle waters that nourish that seed, our love, compassion and empathy become drops of kindness that help them heal and know what it means to finally feel safe and cared for. You might be the first person who has ever made them feel that they really matter, that their feelings and happiness are important and that they are not disposable. You might be the first person who has given them hope shown them who they could be if they just believed in themselves more. Be the reason someone feels beautiful today. -Joel Clemons • Relationship Coach @The.Gentleman.Wolf
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Photo credit: @microjupitor

One of the greatest gifts that you can ever give someone is showing them the beauty of who they are and helping them to find their love for themselves that others have tried to take away. Are you trying to love someone who feels broken or unlovable? Letting someone in and being vulnerable after being hurt again and again is one of the most difficult struggles for anyone. Feeling broken hurts but it isn't the end, a person can heal and become more than they ever thought that they could be. In fact, It can actually be the beginning of something better, just like a seed that has broken open so that it can grow, so can a person. Like gentle waters that nourish that seed, our love, compassion and empathy become drops of kindness that help them heal and know what it means to finally feel safe and cared for. You might be the first person who has ever made them feel that they really matter, that their feelings and happiness are important and that they are not disposable. You might be the first person who has given them hope shown them who they could be if they just believed in themselves more. Be the reason someone feels beautiful today. -Joel Clemons • Relationship Coach @The.Gentleman.Wolf • Photo credit: @microjupitor - 4 days ago

4,393 Likes
124 Comments
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"May I become at all times, both now and forever, a protector for those without protection, a guide for those who have lost their way a ship for those with oceans to cross, a bridge for those with rivers to cross, a sanctuary for those in danger, a lamp for those who need light, a place of refuge for those needing shelter and a servant to all those in need." - TzenzinGyatso The DalaiLama

• "May I become at all times, both now and forever, a protector for those without protection, a guide for those who have lost their way a ship for those with oceans to cross, a bridge for those with rivers to cross, a sanctuary for those in danger, a lamp for those who need light, a place of refuge for those needing shelter and a servant to all those in need." - TzenzinGyatso The DalaiLama - 5 days ago

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"Fall in love with your best friend. With the person who makes you laugh the most. With the person who makes you smile even when you don’t want to. With the person who makes ordinary days feel extraordinary.
Fall in love with the person who’s seen you at your worst. With the person you’re OK to not be OK around. With the person who understands your hurt and wants to heal it. With the person who has stood by your side through Hell and back.
Fall in love with the person who inspires you to be your best. Who encourages you to chase your dreams. Who believes wholeheartedly that you can do anything you set your mind to. Who roots for you even when everybody else abandons you.
Fall in love with someone who gets you. Who can read your expression as if you’re an open book. Who knows your hopes, your fears, your dreams, and never judges you for them. Who understands you better than you understand yourself and loves you all the same.
People tell you not to fall for someone close to you, that it’s messy and risky and heartbreaking, but the truth is they’re the ones who will love you the deepest — because they have already proved that they care, that they will be there for you even without the strings attached, that they would never hurt you. And that’s something you deserve.
So go for it. Jump in blindly, even though it’s scary, even though there’s a chance that everything will go wrong. Being afraid to lose them is how you know it’s worth fighting for. Because if things go right, it will be the best relationship you’ve ever had, and you’ll finally understand what it means to have a forever person.
Fall in love with your best friend, because no one will love you like someone who already knows how to."
Caption by: @moltocalliente

"Fall in love with your best friend. With the person who makes you laugh the most. With the person who makes you smile even when you don’t want to. With the person who makes ordinary days feel extraordinary. Fall in love with the person who’s seen you at your worst. With the person you’re OK to not be OK around. With the person who understands your hurt and wants to heal it. With the person who has stood by your side through Hell and back. Fall in love with the person who inspires you to be your best. Who encourages you to chase your dreams. Who believes wholeheartedly that you can do anything you set your mind to. Who roots for you even when everybody else abandons you. Fall in love with someone who gets you. Who can read your expression as if you’re an open book. Who knows your hopes, your fears, your dreams, and never judges you for them. Who understands you better than you understand yourself and loves you all the same. People tell you not to fall for someone close to you, that it’s messy and risky and heartbreaking, but the truth is they’re the ones who will love you the deepest — because they have already proved that they care, that they will be there for you even without the strings attached, that they would never hurt you. And that’s something you deserve. So go for it. Jump in blindly, even though it’s scary, even though there’s a chance that everything will go wrong. Being afraid to lose them is how you know it’s worth fighting for. Because if things go right, it will be the best relationship you’ve ever had, and you’ll finally understand what it means to have a forever person. Fall in love with your best friend, because no one will love you like someone who already knows how to." Caption by: @moltocalliente - 6 days ago

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Sometimes we don't know how much sadness we are living with until we fall asleep at night and wake up in tears from dreaming about the things that have hurt us the most and still haunt us; especially the people we've lost or are not part of our lives anymore. It hurts to lose loved ones, it hurts to lose what used to be our home. We've had no choice but to move on and carry our sorrow with us; the kind of grief that we wouldn't wish on anyone. On top of it all, loneliness has a way of making us relive the feelings that we wish we could forget. 
The longing to feel at home and at peace... it just doesn't go away. It nags at us and pulls on us until we do the one thing that we swore we would never do again — open our heart to someone else. All we really need is just that one person who teaches us that it's safe to love again, who opens their arms and welcomes us home. This one amazing — "didn't think they actually existed" person who holds us safely through our fear and trembling and never let's us down or let's us go. A love like that is worth going through everything it took to find them. One morning you'll wake up and smile, because even though you had a bad dream that night, their arms are still wrapped around you from holding you through it and their lips are still touching your face from kissing you in your sleep and you'll realize, for the first time, that you never have to be afraid to dream again. -Joel Clemons • Relationship Coach @the.gentleman.wolf 
#love #relationship

Sometimes we don't know how much sadness we are living with until we fall asleep at night and wake up in tears from dreaming about the things that have hurt us the most and still haunt us; especially the people we've lost or are not part of our lives anymore. It hurts to lose loved ones, it hurts to lose what used to be our home. We've had no choice but to move on and carry our sorrow with us; the kind of grief that we wouldn't wish on anyone. On top of it all, loneliness has a way of making us relive the feelings that we wish we could forget. The longing to feel at home and at peace... it just doesn't go away. It nags at us and pulls on us until we do the one thing that we swore we would never do again — open our heart to someone else. All we really need is just that one person who teaches us that it's safe to love again, who opens their arms and welcomes us home. This one amazing — "didn't think they actually existed" person who holds us safely through our fear and trembling and never let's us down or let's us go. A love like that is worth going through everything it took to find them. One morning you'll wake up and smile, because even though you had a bad dream that night, their arms are still wrapped around you from holding you through it and their lips are still touching your face from kissing you in your sleep and you'll realize, for the first time, that you never have to be afraid to dream again. -Joel Clemons • Relationship Coach @the.gentleman.wolf #love #relationship - 7 days ago

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"You deserve someone who will look at you and know that you are good enough. Someone who will not let you struggle on whether or not you’re worth it, because you are.
You deserve someone whom you don’t have to explain yourself to. Someone who will never see you as too much of this, too much of that, someone who will embrace all your edges and know that if it wasn’t for them, you wouldn’t be as strong, as incredible.
You deserve someone who will never make you feel like you have to be their monumental idea of who you should be. Someone who will understand that the way you talk, the way you dress, the way you carry yourself is what makes you unique, and unique is beautiful. Someone who will look at you love your bad parts as much as they love your good parts.
You deserve someone who will stays with you during the stormy days and assures you that things will get better. Someone who will inspire you, encourage you, push you beyond your own limits. Someone who will trust your talents and abilities even when you can’t trust your own. Someone who will love you at your most critical moments, even the moments when you can’t love yourself.
You deserve someone who will see beyond the outer, who will see a smart, beautiful person who fiercely fights to survive life. Someone who will regard the intensity of bravery you have amounted to. Someone who will recognize your strength.
You deserve someone who will see you and know that you are worth so much more than meets the eye.
You deserve someone who will love you in your entirety."
Caption by: -Dian Tinio @diantinio

"You deserve someone who will look at you and know that you are good enough. Someone who will not let you struggle on whether or not you’re worth it, because you are. You deserve someone whom you don’t have to explain yourself to. Someone who will never see you as too much of this, too much of that, someone who will embrace all your edges and know that if it wasn’t for them, you wouldn’t be as strong, as incredible. You deserve someone who will never make you feel like you have to be their monumental idea of who you should be. Someone who will understand that the way you talk, the way you dress, the way you carry yourself is what makes you unique, and unique is beautiful. Someone who will look at you love your bad parts as much as they love your good parts. You deserve someone who will stays with you during the stormy days and assures you that things will get better. Someone who will inspire you, encourage you, push you beyond your own limits. Someone who will trust your talents and abilities even when you can’t trust your own. Someone who will love you at your most critical moments, even the moments when you can’t love yourself. You deserve someone who will see beyond the outer, who will see a smart, beautiful person who fiercely fights to survive life. Someone who will regard the intensity of bravery you have amounted to. Someone who will recognize your strength. You deserve someone who will see you and know that you are worth so much more than meets the eye. You deserve someone who will love you in your entirety." Caption by: -Dian Tinio @diantinio - 8 days ago

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Men and women have different needs and understanding those needs are the key to a healthy relationship. 
A man that loves his partner wants to make her happy, he wants to provide for her and protect her. He then sees her appreciation for him as the sign that he is loved and successful; without that appreciation, he ends up feeling like a disappointment, a failure or unlovable. 
A woman needs to be able to communicate how she feels in order to feel loved and supported before she can begin to really show her appreciation for him. Give her your full attention when she opens up to you instead of trying to find an immediate solution, because the more you think about what you want to say, the less you're paying attention to her, which could prevent her from opening up to you. Stay calm and relaxed and b that she feels more confident about sharing her feelings.
By making each other feel heard, loved and appreciated in the way that really matters, we show honor to each other and hold space for the other to be themselves with us, bringing balance to our relationship. You are the best gift that you are ever going to give to someone, celebrate your love for each other.
-Joel Clemons • Relationship Coach @the.gentleman.wolf
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Photo credit: @geschichtenvonsimon

Men and women have different needs and understanding those needs are the key to a healthy relationship. A man that loves his partner wants to make her happy, he wants to provide for her and protect her. He then sees her appreciation for him as the sign that he is loved and successful; without that appreciation, he ends up feeling like a disappointment, a failure or unlovable. A woman needs to be able to communicate how she feels in order to feel loved and supported before she can begin to really show her appreciation for him. Give her your full attention when she opens up to you instead of trying to find an immediate solution, because the more you think about what you want to say, the less you're paying attention to her, which could prevent her from opening up to you. Stay calm and relaxed and b that she feels more confident about sharing her feelings. By making each other feel heard, loved and appreciated in the way that really matters, we show honor to each other and hold space for the other to be themselves with us, bringing balance to our relationship. You are the best gift that you are ever going to give to someone, celebrate your love for each other. -Joel Clemons • Relationship Coach @the.gentleman.wolf • Photo credit: @geschichtenvonsimon - 9 days ago

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If you are not sure if you are in a healthy relationship with someone, ask yourself if your strongest reaction in the relationship is one of freedom or of fear; love gives freedom, fear tries to control. Could we be sabotaging our relationships or pushing away the person that we love without realizing it, or is this happening to you? So often, we unknowingly repeat the patterns of our childhood relationships because that's what is familiar to us, that's how we were taught to show love.
Do you want emotional intimacy and connection but end up fighting with your partner instead? Until we learn to trust ourselves, we will always struggle to trust others. Until we learn how to control our emotions and cope, we will struggle with being vulnerable. Until we know how to care for ourselves and be self reliant, we will struggle with dependency. 
The relationship that we have with ourselves will determine the level of happiness and satisfaction that we experience in every other relationship in our life. How we treat ourselves is how we will treat others or allow them to treat us. Your experience in life is your responsibility, don't let your past decide your future. Do whatever it takes to have the love you deserve. -Joel Clemons • Relationship Coach @the.gentleman.wolf
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Photo credit: @kat_in_nyc

If you are not sure if you are in a healthy relationship with someone, ask yourself if your strongest reaction in the relationship is one of freedom or of fear; love gives freedom, fear tries to control. Could we be sabotaging our relationships or pushing away the person that we love without realizing it, or is this happening to you? So often, we unknowingly repeat the patterns of our childhood relationships because that's what is familiar to us, that's how we were taught to show love. Do you want emotional intimacy and connection but end up fighting with your partner instead? Until we learn to trust ourselves, we will always struggle to trust others. Until we learn how to control our emotions and cope, we will struggle with being vulnerable. Until we know how to care for ourselves and be self reliant, we will struggle with dependency. The relationship that we have with ourselves will determine the level of happiness and satisfaction that we experience in every other relationship in our life. How we treat ourselves is how we will treat others or allow them to treat us. Your experience in life is your responsibility, don't let your past decide your future. Do whatever it takes to have the love you deserve. -Joel Clemons • Relationship Coach @the.gentleman.wolf • Photo credit: @kat_in_nyc - 10 days ago

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You can be laying right beside someone and still feel alone. Without emotional intimacy we cannot feel truly connected to our partner. We will be guarded, distant, shut off in our heart. Waiting to feel loved in a relationship where their isn't enough understanding and empathy is like trying to take a hot shower when there are only a few drops of water coming out, sooner or later you're going to get cold and want to get out. 
Do you struggle with letting yourself love or be loved? No one wants to be hurt or rejected but it happens and it can make us afraid to trust someone else that deeply again. Are you or your partner still trying to heal from past emotional wounds? How are you coping or helping them to cope? Are you still reacting with fear or responding with love? 
If you see your partner step back from you or cross their arms over their chest when you move towards them, then they are signaling that they feel vulnerable, defensive and unsafe. Try to understand their pain and fears be nurturing, be gentle and kind, we all need to heal in order to feel free of what's holding us back from the love we are capable of. Most of all, always make the one you love FEEL loved, with every touch, every word, every look and every action; make healing your intention. -Joel Clemons • Relationship Coach @the.gentleman.wolf

You can be laying right beside someone and still feel alone. Without emotional intimacy we cannot feel truly connected to our partner. We will be guarded, distant, shut off in our heart. Waiting to feel loved in a relationship where their isn't enough understanding and empathy is like trying to take a hot shower when there are only a few drops of water coming out, sooner or later you're going to get cold and want to get out. Do you struggle with letting yourself love or be loved? No one wants to be hurt or rejected but it happens and it can make us afraid to trust someone else that deeply again. Are you or your partner still trying to heal from past emotional wounds? How are you coping or helping them to cope? Are you still reacting with fear or responding with love? If you see your partner step back from you or cross their arms over their chest when you move towards them, then they are signaling that they feel vulnerable, defensive and unsafe. Try to understand their pain and fears be nurturing, be gentle and kind, we all need to heal in order to feel free of what's holding us back from the love we are capable of. Most of all, always make the one you love FEEL loved, with every touch, every word, every look and every action; make healing your intention. -Joel Clemons • Relationship Coach @the.gentleman.wolf - 11 days ago

6,619 Likes
179 Comments
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"I’ve never been one to believe in soul mates. I’ve never thought I’d be lucky or delusional enough to find “true love” or that when I kissed someone, my heart would skip a beat. But you – you make my heart brighter. You make my days happier and my smile wider, and just being around you makes me a better person. I never thought I’d believe in soul mates, and I don’t think I ever will. But when I find someone who makes my soul brighter, bigger, happier, someone who makes my heart slow down and take a breath, and my stomach hurt from laughing, someone who holds me so gently I feel like I’ll never be hurt again, I know enough to hold them back." -via wnq // -Everything is beautiful and nothing hurts •
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Photo credit: @myrtleandmossphotography

"I’ve never been one to believe in soul mates. I’ve never thought I’d be lucky or delusional enough to find “true love” or that when I kissed someone, my heart would skip a beat. But you – you make my heart brighter. You make my days happier and my smile wider, and just being around you makes me a better person. I never thought I’d believe in soul mates, and I don’t think I ever will. But when I find someone who makes my soul brighter, bigger, happier, someone who makes my heart slow down and take a breath, and my stomach hurt from laughing, someone who holds me so gently I feel like I’ll never be hurt again, I know enough to hold them back." -via wnq // -Everything is beautiful and nothing hurts • • Photo credit: @myrtleandmossphotography - 12 days ago

3,458 Likes
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ACCEPTING NEW CLIENTS
I'm so grateful for all those who share their journey with me and allow me to be a part of their healing and self discovery. I've been there — lost, afraid, uncertain; I know what it's like to walk through the fire, to feel like everything is burning down around you, I know what loss is. I know how hard it can be to try to put yourself back together, one piece at a time, and learn how to let yourself love again. I don't want you to have to struggle or suffer unnecessarily. I want to help you find answers that work, so that you are not only coping with life, but creating the life and experience of love that you want to have. I work with amazing people from all around the world via phone sessions. If interested, message me for details. -Joel

ACCEPTING NEW CLIENTS I'm so grateful for all those who share their journey with me and allow me to be a part of their healing and self discovery. I've been there — lost, afraid, uncertain; I know what it's like to walk through the fire, to feel like everything is burning down around you, I know what loss is. I know how hard it can be to try to put yourself back together, one piece at a time, and learn how to let yourself love again. I don't want you to have to struggle or suffer unnecessarily. I want to help you find answers that work, so that you are not only coping with life, but creating the life and experience of love that you want to have. I work with amazing people from all around the world via phone sessions. If interested, message me for details. -Joel - 13 days ago

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